Today, we weighed our heads. Beginning at 3:15, thirteen of our staffers laid belly-up on the floor and placed their noggins on a bathroom scale. (Several employees chose not to participate either because it was not required for insurance purposes or their skirts were too short.)
We learned that there are several keys to determining accurate head weight:
1) No part of the neck or shoulders can touch the scale.
2) The weighee must relax completely, allowing the full weight of the head to rest on the scale.
3) The head must not be chewing gum.
We also learned that...
1) A heavier head is not an indicator of a higher degree of intelligence.
2) It's easier to kick people when they're flat on their backs...and far more satisfying.
Here is the head weight breakdown:
Total head weight of the 13 participants = 109 pounds
Average head weight of all participants = 8.38 pounds
Average head weight by department:
Sales = 7.75 pounds
Creative = 8.81 pounds
Production = 8.43 pounds
Accounting & IT = 8.00 pounds
Next week, we'll measure intestinal length. I offer no predictions, but I will bet that once it's all said and done, our tape measure won't smell too good.
