BusinessVoice President Jerry Brown is featured as a satisfied customer in Buckeye TeleSystem’s new “We Chose Buckeye” campaign. Check out Jerry’s TV spot, his billboard, and his web ad.
Jerry is taking full advantage of his new celebrity. He’s signed on to appear on next season’s “Dancing With The Stars,” he’s already penning his tell-all autobiography, and he’s launching his own line of popcorn and spaghetti sauce.
We were very proud to be recognized at last week’s Addy Awards ceremony, presented by The Advertising Club of Toledo. We submitted three On Hold Messaging productions and won three awards - 1 gold Addy and 2 silver Addys.
Our in-house Web division, WebArt, was also acknowledged. They received an Honorable Mention for their creation of the Tuffy Auto Service Centers website
My iPhone is paying off already.
I had to cut open a man’s chest earlier today to perform emergency, on-the-street cardiac massage. Thank goodness for the iPhone’s laser scalpel feature. It made a quick, clean incision in the chest wall, allowing me to squeeze the man’s heart and restart his circulation. Minutes later, I was showing him digital pictures of my new boat.
The iPhone has proven handy in the kitchen as well. It dices and slices fresh produce with ease, presses garlic cloves, and makes more ice than a polar bear with a small bladder and a thing for ginger ale. Because my iPhone gives me Internet access and a nice selection of razor-sharp cleavers, I was able to watch the podcast of Sports Center while preparing a meal of fresh zebra steaks.
And the new iPhone offers so much more. It’s a taser, telescope, corkscrew and nail file. Its built-in NASCAR simulator is the best I’ve seen. It comes with a 64-color digital crayon and a sharpener in the back. It can even analyze your golf swing and tuck the kids in at night.
I guess it’s a phone too.
I’ve always been a fan of old-school announcers, those fellas with the big voices who were staples of early radio and TV. In one segment of our current On Hold Messaging production we tip our hats to a specific type of announcer from days gone by - the educational film guy. The tribute comes complete with that familiar warped record sound in back of him. We also managed to poke a little fun at one of our own services. (Who said On Hold Messaging doesn’t grow on trees!) Take a listen.
Today, we weighed our heads. Beginning at 3:15, thirteen of our staffers laid belly-up on the floor and placed their noggins on a bathroom scale. (Several employees chose not to participate either because it was not required for insurance purposes or their skirts were too short.)
We learned that there are several keys to determining accurate head weight:
1) No part of the neck or shoulders can touch the scale.
2) The weighee must relax completely, allowing the full weight of the head to rest on the scale.
3) The head must not be chewing gum.
We also learned that…
1) A heavier head is not an indicator of a higher degree of intelligence.
2) It’s easier to kick people when they’re flat on their backs…and far more satisfying.
Here is the head weight breakdown:
Total head weight of the 13 participants = 109 pounds
Average head weight of all participants = 8.38 pounds
Average head weight by department:
Sales = 7.75 pounds
Creative = 8.81 pounds
Production = 8.43 pounds
Accounting & IT = 8.00 pounds
Next week, we’ll measure intestinal length. I offer no predictions, but I will bet that once it’s all said and done, our tape measure won’t smell too good.
Today is 7/11. In celebration, I took our entire Creative department out for a Big Gulp and a carton of Marlboros.